wallydownundy

I’m tough on myself. There’s a lot I don’t like. I’m too broad around the midsection and my forehead has some permanent wrinkles already. (And no, it’s not due to constant surprises!) Then I look back and think there’s more I’d like to change. Perhaps a different alma mater? Higher GPA in high school?

Too bad I never met US Senate-hopeful Richard Blumenthal.

This wanna-be elected official in Connecticut seems to have fabricated portions of his career. Here’s a great video taken in 2008 – look for the catchphrase, “…from the days I served in Vietnam…”

Seems reasonable, no? Problem is all of his experience was States-side following a record five deferments.

So. One lie. Is that all?

As investigators pour over Dick’s record (why is it always a politician named Dick?), more anomalies appear. He says he was captain of the Harvard Swim Team. Now that might have been plausible if Blumenthal actually was on the team. Seems Dick wasn’t on the team he purported to captain. Oops.

In the face of mounting evidence and criticism, Richard Blumenthal has wedged himself into the corner of denial, stonewalling and obfuscation (”Here’s a video link where I accurately cite my Vietnam experience”).

So now I think. If I could re-make myself a la Blumenthal, what might I change? Maybe I won the Bermuda’s Cup in 1982. Perhaps I was founder of a major national charity that helps homeless youth. Or could I have been considered as the first non-scientific crew member of the Atlantis Space Shuttle.

No matter what I’ll have lost four inches off my waist and restored my smooth forehead. That’s my mimunum entry point for re-fabricating myself a la Blumenthal.

Dick. Is that you?