wallydownundy

In the film “Groundhog Day” poor Bill Murray can’t escape the one day he’s sent to small town Pennsylvania to report on whether an animal sees its shadow. The title of the film has entered the vernacular for anything that feels endlessly repetitive. Like Lindsay Lohan’s personal life or the Melbourne Storm.

Or the Australian federal election.

Australians awoke on Sunday to find little has changed. Both candidates were filling with the airwaves with their moral imperative to lead the nation. Both parties attacked the other stressing their failures. And instead of leadership we, as a nation, are stuck in neutral.

In the coming days one party will cajole, bribe or canoodle enough Independents to lay claim to the leadership. Yet with a near-even split our nation will lack solid government. The squandering of the Labor Party majority and the rise of Tony Abbott are subjects for other postings. For now, however, there’s a nation to govern. And the even split - while shockingly reminiscent of Bush-Gore - is less emotional and more mundane.

This Groundhog Day election is bound to continue for weeks to come. And in my strong opinion, won’t be resolved until another poll is called. I bet it’ll be just around Christmas time…

I met a former boss of mine for lunch yesterday. He’s originally Australian but lives in New York, and I reported to him when I was in Hong Kong (confused yet?). It was great to spend time and hear what’s happened in the ensuing 10 years since we worked together.

Over the years he’s had a plethora of titles - Vice President, Senior Vice President, Executive Vice President, CEO, Chairman of the Board. Clearly he’s been a success.

Yet as the business card holder was filled and refilled again and again by increasingly posh cards with weightier titles, the glamour of the card began to fade. When he approached retirement he quipped to his wife that he’s had every title known to man - spare one.

Today as a retiree he carries a card with the title, “Chief Tribal Warlord.” To those who had the good fortune to work for the man, he’s not that fierce (unless you missed your margin for a month!).

When I did run the business in Hong Kong one man had been with the business forever. In his latter years he wondered who no one had the title “Queen of the Nile” anymore. Can you guess what the brass plaque presented for his birthday read?

I also did an assignment for one of the smaller European nations. The Prince visited and as a thank you gave me platinum cufflinks that featured the royal seal. We had to address him as “His Most Serene Highness.” Yet he was much like any other businessman.

Corporations run amok with grandiose titles. What are the more extreme you’ve seen? And if you could have any title on your card, what would it be? Twitter away and use the hashtag #mytitle.