wallydownundy

I met a former boss of mine for lunch yesterday. He’s originally Australian but lives in New York, and I reported to him when I was in Hong Kong (confused yet?). It was great to spend time and hear what’s happened in the ensuing 10 years since we worked together.

Over the years he’s had a plethora of titles - Vice President, Senior Vice President, Executive Vice President, CEO, Chairman of the Board. Clearly he’s been a success.

Yet as the business card holder was filled and refilled again and again by increasingly posh cards with weightier titles, the glamour of the card began to fade. When he approached retirement he quipped to his wife that he’s had every title known to man - spare one.

Today as a retiree he carries a card with the title, “Chief Tribal Warlord.” To those who had the good fortune to work for the man, he’s not that fierce (unless you missed your margin for a month!).

When I did run the business in Hong Kong one man had been with the business forever. In his latter years he wondered who no one had the title “Queen of the Nile” anymore. Can you guess what the brass plaque presented for his birthday read?

I also did an assignment for one of the smaller European nations. The Prince visited and as a thank you gave me platinum cufflinks that featured the royal seal. We had to address him as “His Most Serene Highness.” Yet he was much like any other businessman.

Corporations run amok with grandiose titles. What are the more extreme you’ve seen? And if you could have any title on your card, what would it be? Twitter away and use the hashtag #mytitle.